I’m still going strong with the quitting of the cigarettes and I’ve increased my work out time! I’m doing two walks a day at work and forty minute intense work outs at night so I can shed the weight that has crept up on me in the past year in a half.

This has been a quit smoking status update. You may now continue with what you were doing.

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This is a debate that I’ve had with many people over the years who have gasped at me for not being anal over my oil changes. Granted… with one car it was from sheer laziness, but for others it made no sense. The oil looked clean, the car ran smooth, the level didn’t go down too quickly- once a year was fine. I’ve been challenged on this time and time again although I’ve requested a decent explanation other than “Well because they say so.”

Well here it is folks (on Scientific American)… and still… you can’t believe everything you read and most things can be disproved but until then, because it agrees with me… I’m posting it.

Dear EarthTalk: How often do I really need to change my car’s oil? Conventional wisdom has always put it at every 3,000 miles to prevent engine wear, but isn’t changing oil that frequently wasteful and unnecessary? Also, what is the “greenest” and longest-lasting oil I should use?
– Vic Roberts, Lincoln, MA

If you’ve signed up for an account within the past several years or have done pretty much anything on the www and needed to prove that you weren’t a bot, then you’ve encountered a reCAPCHA (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart). Yes, it’s a good way to ensure you’re human, but did you know that you were helping archivist decipher old texts?

If You Use the Web, You May Have Already Been Enlisted as a Human Scanner
Those anti-bot security forms that slow you down when you’re entering information just might serve a larger purpose- Scientific American

By Adam Hadhazy

You might think that computer scientists would have figured out a way to get computers to decipher those characters. But they haven’t, so instead they’ve figured out a way to harness all that effort you’re making to protect your security. “When you’re reading those squiggly characters, you are doing something that computers cannot,” says Luis von Ahn, a computer scientist at Carnegie Mellon University (C.M.U.) in Pittsburgh.

The milestones will be stretched out to a month after today is finished… I sorta promise. I’ve been a non-smoker for 1 week and 1 day now it’s odd, almost like a part of my identity is gone. “My name is Dawn and I was for the most part, a closet smoker…” Well… unless out with friends, I pretty much kept my habit low key.

This is also the first time in AGES where I’ve attempted to quit with no intent of starting up again. In the past when I’ve tried to kick the habit, like most ppl who are addicted… people would beg me to smoke after the first day of going without. It *is* difficult, but physically you have three days of hell and then that’s it. If I can do it cold turkey, anyone can.

My biggest issue HAS been the food. I haven’t allowed my body to break down food normally in a VERY long time. A cigarette after a meal was a requirement- Needless to say I’m eating long after I’m full. I need to get more physical than I am while my body is adjusting and I do need help with that.

I saw a thumb drive that had some of the NYC pieces on it (Joe Simon and Stan Lee) and then I noticed an entire folder I some how missed! Jenn’s NYC footage of parts of the trip. I’m going to *try* to upload it and share what I can It waas soooooooooo nice going down memory lane.

Here are the first two I’m sharing to test while I see how well I can upload videos on WP from my domain.

Empire State Building Elevator Ride and Wednesday Night Fights (when we just sat down)

More to come… if I can get this to work

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I’m sitting here with my head cocked to the side as day dream bubble forms above my head. What has me looking up at the ceiling making the sound, “Hmmm…”?

Check this out- A sexist (though quite possibly ‘well meaning’) Aussie mayor is calling all ugly ducklings to his town to help out with the shortage of females:

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A plea for lovelorn female “ugly ducklings” to move to a remote Australian mining town to reverse a shortage of eligible women has landed the local mayor in hot water.

 Mt Isa Mayor John Molony was refusing to apologize on Monday for angering local women with a suggestion that “with five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa,” in north-west Queensland state.

 ”Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness,” Molony told the Townsville Bulletin newspaper last week.

Yes, this is exhilarating, I feel triumphant, strong, and umm… fan-freakingtastic (I’m not even being sarcastic!). 6 days since I’ve given up on the Nicotine and I’m telling you, if you have never smoked, I highly suggest that you start just for the feeling of quitting it. It’s definitely one of those times where quitting is not a negative.

So I’ve been thinking… if giving up the cigarette is such a wonderful feeling of the chains breaking and the conquering of addiction- I think I’m now going to try to be addicted to the meth and the heroine and quuaaludes. The thing is though, I really don’t want any mind altering anything in my body… and I really don’t want to meet anyone who sells the stuff (I’m pretty anti-drugs although the cigarette and coffee thing made me a hypocrite)… but just think how great quitting those things would be if the cigarette quitting has me on a cloud nine. I’d be on top of the freaking world!!  “By giving up meth 6 days, 2 hours and fifteen minutes ago, you’ve saved half a tooth, your neighbor’s garage and gained 2.1 lbs”

There was one final show of lightning before it went away- it spanned across my line of sight like a huge electrical web. I gasped and cursed at the same time. I think it waited for my battery to run out.

I feel so amazed and impressed each time I witness one of those storms, like I’m a chronic lightning storm virgin. It doesn’t matter how many I sit through, it always feels like the first. I get that way with the first snow fall of the year as well.

Back to the films:
Smart People: Starring Dennis Quaid, Thomas Haden Church, Ellen Page and that transvestite who’s popularity perplexes me… Sarah Jessica Parker.

Synopsis
An unexpected romance with a charming former student (Sarah Jessica Parker) and a surprise visit from his wild adopted brother (Thomas Haden Church) conspire to turn the life of surly widowed professor Lawrence Wetherhold (Dennis Quaid) upside down. But after nursing his bitterness for so many years, is the self-absorbed academic ready for change? Ellen Page and Ashton Holmes co-star in this witty dramedy from director Noam Murro.

Rather than starting off talking about films, I have to tell you folks that there’s an awesome lightning storm brewing right outside. It’s been YEARS since I’ve witnessed one of these in my area. The kind of storm where you see the entire sky light up lavender, so you open up the door and the heavy charged frangrance ushers you into a memorable summer night. I can’t hear the thunder claps just yet so I imagine the streaks of lightning are pretty far away- but omg so brilliant as there’s not a trace of dusk when it illuminates my evening.

Perhaps my mind is making up the smell- associations et al, but this is truly a treat. I love storms, especially lightning storms (if I have a place to hide). It’s not as fun to witness it alone, but it’s enjoyable and ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ worthy none the less.

Damn it, forget about the films- I’m out taking pics of the lightning, it’s getting closer now… here’s a couple I took so far…

I am taking an intermission from watching ‘Smart People’ so that I can write the following: If anyone has tried to quit smoking cold turkey- then you can appreciate the wonderful feeling it has to have some control of your life again (or any addiction for that matter) and no, we won’t compare addictions and quitting because this is about ME.

It’s funny how the triumph can spill into other accomplishments. I was able to push myself through an exhausting work out (while watching the movie) and each time I started to feel physically spent, I thought about the recent success- and I did it! Small goals. “Make it through the next five minutes and revisit your goal…” “You made it through those five minutes and you still feel good… wanna go five more… how about ten?”

I really hope this continues. I know how life upsets cause me to forget my dreams/goals/progress, and I do want to stick with this.

Back to the film….

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Car troubles this morning 100+ weather, smashing my knee into the edge of a cupboard to avoid tripping over wires (gashed and bruised but I think I’ll live- the cupboard is still touch and go).

I manage to be smoke free still I even went to check my mail and make a quick dash to the corner store for munchies (unless I get a bf stat I’m going to be Jabba- hard candies and pretzles are becoming air to me. I am working out 30 minutes a day, but that doesn’t help much if you eat more than you burn off) Anyway, I went to the corner store, the one that has enabled my smoking since I moved into these apartments oh so many years ago.

I started to have a psychological nic fit while in there. I’m nabbing pretzles, hard candies and caramel chocolate goodness off the shelves like sugar was going to disappear off the planet at any moment. Exasperated and desperate I asked the girl behind the counter if she had anything for nic fits… Of course her and her co-worker looked at me funny and said Safeway might have something. I thanked her… she asked if I was quitting… I said I did…. and I was doing fine until I came in their store. They laughed (wasn’t funny!) and I went on my way home smiling. I DID IT! I went in and came out with an armful of junkfood… (they didn’t have carrot sticks or anything) but no smokes!

Day 3. Or is it four? Hell if I know. I started on Monday, actually it was more like Sunday- cutting back, trying to quit. I was doing really well and I could have considered Sunday night to be the starting point for cessation. Tuesday morning I decided to finish off the remaining cigarette in my pack… so I officially have to consider Tuesday at 1pm my actual quit time.

Drum roll please: In a few minutes I’ll be on my 72nd hour of not smoking and my body will be… for the first time (cough) years, 100% nicotine free.

I am still experiencing some symptoms… I want to kill my cats. I feel on edge off and on, I feel anxious off and on. I want to eat! I want to run! I want to strangle someone! And then for the most part I forget about it. It’s a little more difficult at work to get my mind off of things because other people here *do* smoke and I can REALLY smell it. It doesn’t smell pleasant, in fact it’s extremely disgusting, but my mind still associates it with pleasure.

After going through a mess of withdrawal symptoms that stem from quitting cold turkey instead of cutting down or using meds/patch/gum… I think I’m finished with the worst. I am officially a non-smoker.

20+ years of the habit, regardless of how many… it’s now over with. You’d think there’d be a party or something, or …anything. I even took a walk today and I can’t recall the last time I took a walk without having an urge to light up.

What started out as a way to avoid getting my butt kicked at the bus stop… and two years of ’smoking’ before someone finally called me on it and made me inhale… It’s finis! Over with. Done! (sigh) I wanted to go through the raw pain of quitting without assistance so I’d have this reminder should I opt to light up again… ever. I need pain association… and I have it.

Oh well. Good bye habit.

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I know I’ve made feeble attempts in the past to do this, but this time I did survive the withdrawal, more than I thought I could. No caving or *tapering* instead of quitting cold turkey.

I’ve checked all the stats and researches- I think come tomorrow morning the detox is finis, after that it’s merely psychological. I did want to strangle people today… and I refrained… but I think that was the worse I’ll go through. I started off the day feeling kind of good, as the day progressed people began to grind on my nerves and I just wanted to leave before I left a body count.

It’s really early but I’m going to go ahead and end my day. It was a physically painful and draining day and I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

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A few moments ago it hit me. The movie ‘Crash’ the one I hated (especially for winning an Oscar when it could have been a made for TV flick on Lifetime). I bitched and moaned that those were hours shaved off my life that I could never get back. Guess what? My Quit Counter informed me that I gained those hours back!!

It’s like the movie never happened!!!!!!!!! Oh HAPPY happy DAY! I also had a decent nights sleep last night Yay me!

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It probably wouldn’t be so tough to quit if I wasn’t thinking about it so much, obsessing over the withdrawal symptoms, reading everything I can… Regardless of how much or little you smoke, if you light up, you are a nicotine addict.

It’s so hard to figure out which is psychological and what is really physical. I do have a difficult focusing, I do feel a little irritated. My breathing quickly turns shallow and rapid, and I have to slow it down. My head does hurt.

Blood sugar plummets in many people when first quitting.  The most common side effects felt during the first three days can often be traced back to blood sugar issues.  Symptoms such as headache, inability to concentrate, dizziness, time perception distortions, and the ubiquitous sweet tooth encountered by many, are often associated with this blood sugar drop.  The symptoms of low blood sugar are basically the same symptoms as not having enough oxygen, similar to reactions experienced at high altitudes.  The reason being the inadequate supply of sugar and/or oxygen means the brain is getting an incomplete fuel.  If you have plenty of one and not enough of the other, your brain can not function at any form of optimal level.  When you quit smoking, oxygen levels are often better than they have been in years, but with a limited supply of sugar it can’t properly fuel your brain.

I’ll give the 411 on the film ‘Penelope’ later today (a full review). For now all I can say is that I enjoyed it and the message it gave.

As for the cessations- last night went well except for the typical bout of insomnia I have, which resulted in the night cap crutch. I don’t know what it is about being single that makes it nearly impossible to sleep! My mind races until the wee hours of the morning and it’s frustrating! Throw a warm body next to me and I’m out like a light for the entire sleep cycle. I’m not ‘worrying’, I just can’t shut my brain off. I practice breathing techniques, Buddhist meditations, relaxations, soothing sounds, no caffeine past a certain point in the day, trying to exhaust my mind after 8 pm- but the results are still the same! I go to bed at 10… the next thing I know it’s 11:30. I remove myself from bed for a few minutes so I don’t associate alertness with bed… I try again. It’s now 1:30. I drift off and open my eyes to see that’s now 2:30. This goes on until it’s time to get up at 5:30-ish.

I did it- I made it through my morning commute and lunch time smoke free. I’m not *craving* anything… but my breathing and head does feel funny- sleepy. Oddly like I’m on a caffeine crash. Someone must have put decaf in the coffee maker.

*had to share* When I get home I’m going to drink a vat of green tea and try to distract myself from urges (should I have any).

Update: I took a nap on the sofa early in the evening and woke up  a little grumpy, went to have a smoke… went for an energy mint instead and I’m feeling better. I’ve also swapped out my night cap for water/green tea. Two crutches I fell back on since my eldest, Ash, moved. I guess it’s time for the crutches to go away. How will I deal with the quiet, lonely evenings? The same way I had been, except no glass of wine or cigarette. I’ll be lonely… but at least I’ll smell nice.

This is one of the films where I have to question my taste. Why? Why did I pull this off the shelf, walk up to the cashier and shell out the money to view it? Was my life in that much disarray where I felt it couldn’t get any worse? Was the masochist in me trying to awaken from its dormant state, so it selected this DVD to satiate a craving for self inflicted punishment?

Although the movie isn’t half way through, I can’t fathom it getting any better… although I can bank on it getting worse. Yes I think Casper is eye candy, but this film is making him appear like George Costanza.

Will I be writing a more indepth review of this movie? I don’t really think so.

If you love Sci-Fi, action flicks, aliens, great fight scenes and awesome special effects… don’t rent this.

Casper, if you need a new agent- call me. No, I’m not an agent, but I can help you forget how far down the toilet your career has gotten. …I’m just sayin’….

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Due to a lot of life getting in the way, I’m finally there. The last level. Je finis (almost). I prepped by doing my nails (which I had to do anyway because of the car thing- and you could probably see one of the wounds on my finger), I’m also wearing Satan’s Sundress (long back story and it’s merely coincidence that I’m wearing the evil dress… but it should help me complete the game).

Here I go… off to end this… then there will be nothing left *sniff*… bye bye game that I’ve enjoyed much more than the last game I played… “WHY MUST IT END?????”

**update** I guess it isn’t ending. I stopped at the last save point because I just remembered that I have Starship Troopers 3 and Penelope to watch. Yes… The game goes on.

The game, the nails, the game, the films and the infamous dress.

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I put my hair through a ton of damage the other week- stripping it down and then building up the color again for the result of crying tresses. Yesterday I purchased “Silk Drops” hoping that takes the whining out of the follicles and so far I must say that I haven’t heard a whimper yet. Granted my hair is still wet, but so far it feels like it did three weeks ago… prior to my stupidity.

I’ve also begun to take Trim Spa, I’ve been so bloated because silly me forgot the entire reason I stopped buying water pills- on *me* they cause me to retain water instead of ridding of it. :\

Last but not least, I’m replacing my nicotine urges with mints. It seems to be working.

Seriously, there’s nothing more unattractive than a bloated woman with fried hair smelling like smoke- so yeah, I don’t want to be that woman.

Rated ‘R’ Independent flick starring Ellen Page from Hard Candy and Juno. She’s pretty much type cast or the girl has no range. No clue but regardless her performances are always raw and gritty. I like that.

The Tracey Fragments is shown in fragmented graphics for the most part which does get distracting and takes away from the story. The story however it a Memento-ish piece that tells the tale from to beginning… in fragments and jumps around the place here and there, only you don’t really get lost.

Tracey starts off blending her fantasy with reality as she gets home to tell her dysfunctional parents that she lost her little brother, her brother that she hypnotized into thinking he’s a dog). Ridden with so much guilt and pain, she rides the buses and roams around the city searching for him.

You get drawn into her awkward, tortured school life and home life that casts a shadow on how she got to where she’s at and why inside her mind it’s not so fun. This is definitely a journey into the crazy.

I would say it’s been a good weekend so far. My car hasn’t broken down and my landlords gave me my check back and said I can do payment plans for the late fees and I’m not penalized for this month.

I got past a frustrating part of the game I’m playing and waiting for my WoW account to activate as a paid subscriber. It’s been 24 hrs now and nada!

Okay, some things have been weighing on my mind.

I had a lot of high points to hit on but right now I’m going to ignore those. I have words of experience to hand the females out there who have a hint of intellect, creativity, a spark of imagination and a love of life. You’re passionate, vibrant, you enjoy seeing how things work and you’re pretty much a geek. Sadly you have a heart that beats and a romantic streak that spans the years. You hope and yearn and taste. For the most part in life you *can* be seen as the underdog. No offense. But love just will not happen to you no matter how pretty you are, once a geek… always a geek? And the men you attract aren’t into the geek.

Love me, then you have to tolerate Buffy.

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First things first: I started my subscription to WoW- I hope I get to change my name… DawnMasuoka doesn’t sound too- World of Warcraft-y. I’m just waiting for the authentication keys to be sent and then I can start.

Second and last before I get to go finish God of War2:
We saw these troupe in April and despite some flaws that popped in my head pertaining to saber fighting, I thought they were pretty cool, especially in the off stage playing/practicing mode. SO- enjoy. I have three sabers, I can start my own troupe! Anyone care to join? Every scoffs at my light saber chandelier idea, so I might as well *use* them… as much as you can use lighted plastic sticks.

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